Reasons For Eating

My version of the Very Fast 800 has given me a unique opportunity to examine the specific motivations for eating.   Of course, biologically, I must eat in order to have the energy needed to live through respiration and move - to function.

But, why, specifically, do I choose to eat when I do?  It is very rarely because I'm actually hungry.  That may be the underlying cause of my progressive weight gain - that I don't wait for a natural sense of hunger to arise before eating.  So what is it that motivates me?

Because, due to this diet I have been in total control down to the single calorie of all nutritional intake, I am now aware of each incidence of those motivations.  They're a little surprising.

Though it's not prescribed in the diet, I eat exactly twice per day, once at 10am, once at 5pm and both times almost exactly 400 kcal.  At no other times do I eat - I drink black coffee or sparkling water.  Nevertheless, interest in food remains - heightened relative to before I started the diet.  Further, there are often times when I start thinking through an "eating episode" - basically a snack - involuntarily.  I think this happened prior to my diet - but I wouldn't notice.  Instead I would just snack!

But further, why should this episode come to my mind?  I have a theory on it.  I have a son who quite often has attacks of anxiety that quite overwhelm him.  He can't function, especially in public, when this happens.  We found that we can help out of this state by distracting him - with an idea or an unusual sight, say.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.  One thing that almost always works well - is food.

Food distracts.  If you think about it, it's clear why it does.  You can shut your eyes or turn away from some scene or block your ears from sound.  To smell something you usually need to actively sniff.  Tasting something is different though: you taste nothing until it is in your mouth.  Then you have to spit it out to if you want to stop the taste.  Typically, when you eat, you have an idea what it will taste like before you eat, so you know it will be positive.  But that's not actually tasting.  As it hits your mouth your taste buds activate involuntarily and send their signals unfiltered to your brain which must process them.  All else in your mind is, for a short time, put aside.

What I've noticed is that when I am under some pressure or have multiple concerns at once that I am struggling to deal with, these snack episodes come to mind more often.  It think that subconsciously I seek temporary relief from times of stress through the distraction of food.

Larger meals are a bit different.  What I've been saying doesn't explain why I overeat at these times.  Once my diet is complete I will attempt to continue to eat mindfully and see if I can observe my motivations at full meal-times.